23 Jan 2008 @ 8:24 AM 

Fade in to:

Scene: Inside of house

Father and Son (“Timmy”) are at a table. Textbooks and backpack are on the table. Hamster cage to stage left.

S: (Frustrated) I don’t understand this.

F: That’s OK Timmy, we can work through this.

S: It’s so complicated.

F: Son, it isn’t rocket science…

Announcer: This sounds like a job for…

Man briskly walks in from stage right. Man is dressed in a neon green jumpsuit with a red “RSM” on the chest. Overall effect is that of a garish knockoff of Superman. RSM speaks with random pauses in speech similar to William Shatner. RSM strikes noble poses whenever possible.


Father looks to where RSM walked on stage. Looks surprised, opens mouth. Looks at RSM and closes mouth and shrugs.

RSM: What’s the problem, Timmy?

S: I don’t understand this problem, Rocket Science Man.

RSM: That’s because, Timmy, the Secrets Of The Universe are known by only a few.


RSM: If you study hard, Timmy, you may, one day, know those secrets yourself.

(Father looks unhappily at RSM.)

S: Wow, Rocket Science Man! Can you explain…

RSM spots hamster cage. RSM walks quickly over to hamster cage and grabs hamster.

S: Squeaky!

RSM: Have you ever wondered, for example, Timmy, how much Squeaky here would weigh in orbit?

Zoom to “RSM” on RSM’s costume. RSM is only thing showing on screen.

Zoom out. All are standing in a field with a 5-foot tall miniature rocket stage center. RSM has hamster and duct tape. Father and Son are about 20 feet from Rocket, RSM next to Rocket. There is some sort of control panel 10 feet to left of Rocket.

Father and Son look around, surprised.

RSM: Lets find out, Timmy, by strapping Squeaky to this rocket.

RSM tapes hamster to rocket. Father and Son notice RSM and Rocket.

F and S: Wait!

RSM bounds over to control panel. Presses button. Rocket launches straight up with Hamster taped to rocket.

S: Sqeaky…

F: (angrily) WHY YOU…!

Father runs after RSM to stage left, waiving fist. RSM looks scared, runs away.

Pan and zoom upward. Sqeaky is attached to open parachute, slowly drifting back to earth.

Pan down, forest scene.

Posted By: greenman
Last Edit: 28 Jan 2009 @ 12:46 AM

Categories: Humor, Surreal


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